Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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