and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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