So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
