Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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