I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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