i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
