STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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