Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
