there's paper in my vomit.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
