aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
