She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
