Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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