Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
