By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
