if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
