woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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