it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
