haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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