I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
