he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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