This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
