Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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