well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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