porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
is that a dick in a sweater?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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