Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
