Can Purell be used as lube?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
