you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
