Don't make out with my wife yet
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
