he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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