I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
