It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
