no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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