if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
