I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
