You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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