I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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