I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
