I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
