Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
