watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
he's gonorrhea incarnate
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
