they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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