what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
vagina is talking i cant
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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