dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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