I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
