$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
