She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
