i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
