guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
