What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
