good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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