he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
