dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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